Five things that really scare me...

1. Moustaches - There is just something about them that gives me the creeps. What are they trying to hide? There are exceptions to the rule; Burt Reynolds ( the Bandit has to have a Moustache ) and Earl ( Jason Lee in 'My Name is Earl' ). Other than those guys, I have yet to meet someone with a clear moustache who I didn't think needed some sort of professional help or just plain locking up.

2. George W Bush - I'm not sure what scares me most, the fact that this chump has the ability to bring to an end all civilisation or the fact that Americans actually voted for him! I look forward to Hilary Clinton getting into office....

3. Bum Bags and Mobile Phone holders - Much like moustaches, these things give me the heebie-jeebies. I'll quite happily and openly admit that I did have a 'hip pack' back in my early skateboarding days, but that was 20 or so years ago now ( aaaaargh 'getting old alert'! ).

4. Chav cars - If you follow a chav'd up car you are constantly worried that bits will fly off and hit you and if one is behind you, you are constantly worried that it's brakes ( as serviced by Wayne on his front lawn ) will fail and it will end up in your rear passenger seats. Dare I also mention no insurance?

5. Macs - How can a design masterpiece reduce a useful computer user to tears so easily? Is it the lack of a 'right click' or absence of certain keys? Either way if you stick me in front of one I go from being a cocky SOB to being that kid in class who wasn't quite paying attention during quadratic equations.

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